Raising creative children

ifeedone10This the third and last post in a series from veteran educator and interview coach Charlie Margolis on creativity, higher order thinking and raising creative children. You can view the first post and second post – and then finish the discussion below!

Whether or not a child fully develops his/her creative potential depends – to a large degree – on the environment. At home and in school, children need to experience activities which are engaging, motivational, open-ended (with no predetermined answer) and – let’s not forget – fun. It is crucial that the creative environment is accepting and supportive. For children, creative experience is play. The make-up games, turn utensils toys, and allow their imaginations to take them to other worlds. Daydreaming, often considered to be a waste of time, is an integral part of the creative process. Children need to feel they can risk trying-out new ideas, materials and methods. Give children permission to take a risk. Ask questions and try not to be judgmental. The very fact that something is creative implies that it represents a new standard. Whether constructing a fort out of cardboard cartons or making-up rhymes (we call it poetry when adults do it), all children are naturally creative and possess an unlimited capacity to learn.

The Characteristics of Creative Thinkers

Creativity can be expressed in every aspect of life. The creative process is associative. It has to do with “seeing” from a new viewpoint and trying novel combinations. The results are new ideas, discoveries and applications. While there is no such thing as a creative personality, creators generally display behaviors which contribute to their process.

Energy – Creativity is like a rechargeable battery; it is a renewable energy source.

Focus – The creative process doesn’t turn-on & off, like a light. Creators are always thinking, about their problem, even when they sleep.

Open Minds – Most people habituate; that is, they do things in the same way, every time. Creators are willing to try things that haven’t been tried before. They challenge habitual ways of thinking.
Creators challenge assumptions and suspend judgment. Creators redefine what is possible.

Explorers – Creators are explorers. Like the early American pioneers, they don’t always know where they are going or what they will find, but they are always looking.

Tenacity – Creative individuals exhibit an unwavering resolve. They are neither discouraged nor defeated by unanticipated events, circumstances or obstacles.

Resilience – When creators fail – which happens often – they recover and rebound, rather than giving-up and placing blame. Creators view every failed attempt as information that will inevitably lead to success.

Play – Pablo Picasso said, “All children are artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” Do you remember what it was like to play? There were no rules, goals or judgments. It was pure fun for its own sake. Play is an integral part of the creative process.

Horizontal Thinking – The term horizontal thinking was introduced by Edward de Bono. Traditional vertical thinking is logical and convergent; step A is followed by step B, and so forth. Creativity is much less linear. It can go from Step C to step W and back to A. Thus, horizontal thinking expands outward, rather than upward.

Discovering Common Characteristics – Creativity people are like anthropologists. Creative people see connections between disparate things. By combining two or more apparently unrelated ideas, objects or functions, they create something new.

Making Metaphors – Metaphors and analogies play an important role in the creative process. T Revealing new relationships can be artistic and insightful.

Reframing – Viewing common things in a novel ways is called reframing. Sometimes creativity involves reconciling ideas which are apparently contradictory. Can poison have medical applications?

Curiosity – Curiosity is the motivating factor for many creative individuals. They want to know, how, when and why something happens. Creative thinkers are compelled to express their vision to find a better way.

Courage – Creativity requires a high degree of courage. Trying anything new involves risking failure. Creators are not discouraged by rejection.

Risk Taking – Perhaps the most distinctive characteristic of the creative thinker is the willingness to take a risk. For the creator, failure provides invaluable information and experience. While the unknown scares most people, creators seek it.

Intrinsic Motivation – While most people work for external rewards – money, grades, fame, etc – creators work from the “inside-out.” This is called intrinsic motivation. These persons are self-starters whose satisfaction comes from the process as much as the outcome.

Obsession – Creativity requires dedication and hard work. Creators are obsessed with what they are doing. Their minds are always “in gear,” even when they are sleeping.

Imagination – Picasso said he would like to draw like a child. Indeed, a child’s imagination a wonderful thing. As we grown older, we seem to lose-touch with the capacity to create fantasy worlds. There are no limits to the imagination. Dreams, fantasizing and imagination are integral parts of the creative process. Allowing the mind to focus inward provides freedom to freely associate.

Collaboration – Until recently, it was assumed that creativity was an isolated activity. Now, it is understood that people can be interactive resources for ideas. Many cutting-edge companies promote interaction among peers as ways of exchanging ideas and promoting creativity.

“Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.” – Maya Angelou, American poet

More than magic the importance of creative thinking

magi“My contention is that creativity now is as important in education as literacy, and we should treat it with same status” – Sir Ken Robinson

This is the first in a series of posts from veteran educator and interview coach Charlie Margolis on creativity, higher order thinking and raising creative children.

A Bucket, Mop and…

For many years, I washed my floors with a rag mop and a bucket. Eventually, I bought a Swiffer. What a difference! In the book, Imagine, John Lehrer describes how the Swiffer was invented. Back in the 1980’s, Proctor and Gamble needed a new type of floor cleaner. They taped hours of monotonous floor cleaning. When the team analyzed the tapes, they found that people spent more time cleaning their mops than the floors. Then, the team observed a woman picking-up coffee grounds. She carefully swept the debris and used a wet paper towel to wipe the linoleum; something I have done, more than once. The idea for a mop with a disposable pad was born. Still, it took a year to convince P&G to test the radical new device that no one wanted. In 1999, the Swiffer entered the market. It generated $550 million in sales the first year. The Swiffer is an example of how an innocuous idea can have a big impact.

Creativity…It’s for everyone

Say the word creativity and most people think of artists and inventors. There is a prevailing assumption that creativity is a talent; either you’re born with it, or not… Certainly, some people are inherently creative. They seem to be driven, curious and have a need to express their internal vision. But, given the opportunity and motivation, everyone is creative. It was once thought that there was a “creative” personality type. Subsequently, this has been shown to be false. Creativity is not some sort of magic. It had been observed, researched and identified. Most importantly, creativity can be learned. All it requires is the right attitude, motivation and commitment.

What is Creative Thinking?

There are many definitions of creativity. But, the basic idea is that creativity is a process for producing original ideas. The old adage, “There’s nothing new under the sun,” contains a nugget of truth. Ideas are built upon ideas, like a house on a foundation. Eventually, from this amalgamation, something new arises. It is this next step that we call the creative leap. The idea of the “Eureka” moment – that original ideas unexpectedly arrive out of “thin air” – is a myth. The insight that is often associated with creativity is always at result of hard work. Creativity is most often applicable to open-ended problems; those which have no finite answer. Our usual way of thinking is convergent thinking, which brings a set of facts to bear on a particular problem. From these, we draw a conclusion. Alternately, divergent thinkers identify characteristics and make unexpected associations. The chess player who has memorized thousands of moves is different from the player who invents an entirely unprecedented combination. This kind of creative problem solving is characterized by divergent thinking.Creativity is a process of thinking that follows a predictable course to an unpredictable outcome.

For more on this topic, read Charlie’s next post on higher order thinking and exploring the question “can creativity be learned?”

How is full-day K changing the preK experience?

KpostThere is no doubt that Full-Day Kindergarten is sweeping our nation. More and more school districts across the country are finding funding and space to offer a longer day of instruction verses a shorter half day.

Over the past few years an abundance of research has been provided to prove that there are many benefits for the full day model. And so, the district in which our early childhood center resides will be transitioning to the full day Kindergarten model for the 2013-2014 school year.

I am eager to hear from Directors, Teachers, and Parents across the country in regards to how to best prepare four year olds for Full Day Kindergarten?

For early childhood program that offer part-day preschool classes … have you had to make changes to your part-day preschool instruction in order to prepare students for a full day when they enter Kindergarten?

Parents with children attending full day Kindergarten programs, feel free to share your child’s experience and how your preschool teacher prepared your child for the transition. We want to hear from you!

Picking up your child at the end of the day

your childFor parents and children, the end of the day can be a busy and stressful time. When picking up young children from their child care center … are we connecting with our child and child’s teacher … OR are we on the phone, sending texts or focused on where we have to rush off to next? Author and parenting speaker Bill Corbett provides some tips for parents to make the transition at the end of day more relaxed and enjoyable for parent and child.

5 TIPS FOR PICKING YOUR CHILD UP AT CHILD CARE

1. Find a way to decompress when leaving the office. Make exercise a new component of your afternoon or take a few moments to just breathe deeply and meditate. Your child is important and your work will still be there later.

2. Leave your phone in the car and “show up” in the moment 100% for your child. Wear a face and a smile that says, “I’m here for you and nothing else exists for the moment.”

3. Get down to your child’s eye level while he is talking to you. He has so much to share with you that transpired during the time you’ve been a part. Nothing is more important to him than what’s on his mind at the moment.

4. Keep quiet and take this opportunity to listen. I know that you’re running short on time and you have so much to accomplish over the next few hours, but your child doesn’t care about that right now.

5. Take your child to a park bench or some other quiet area for just 10 – 15 minutes to reconnect. She has so much to tell you about and craves a few minutes of dedicated attention to reconnect. If you give your child 100% of your attention well enough, it will be much easier to get her cooperation to go on to the next thing you have to accomplish.

Child care teachers can help also making by themselves accessible to parents at the end of the day, to brief the parent on their child’s day and answer any questions they may have. These tips would be great to post outside classrooms or include in an information packet for parents at the beginning of the year.

In response to a reader question below … here is a blog post more specific to helping babies transition to child care.billcorbett_2

Bill Corbett is the author of the award-winning parenting book series, LOVE, LIMITS, & LESSONS: A PARENT’S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS (in English and in Spanish) and the executive producer and host of the public access television show CREATING COOPERATIVE KIDS. He is a member of the American Psychological Association and provides parent coaching and keynote presentations to parent and professional audiences across the country. Images used here with permission from Bill Corbett.

Picking up baby at the end of the day

handWe had a question on a recent blog post about picking up your child at the end of the day. Monica asked the following question:

“I will soon be sending my 6 month baby to child care and am wondering how to reconnect. She is already having stranger anxiety and we’ve developed a strong bond. I don’t want her to be mad at me for sending her there.”

We asked our friend and colleague, Michelle Catania, (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), what advice she would give in this situation. Here is Michelle’s response ….

TIPS FOR PICKING YOUR BABY UP FROM CHILD CARE

When our babies go off the child care it can be harder on us then it is on them. Reconnecting after pick up time will grow to be a favorite time for both of you. Planning for an uninterrupted 15 minute playtime / snuggle time when you come home can ease the transition between school and home.

As for giving comfort to your baby while in child care, it’s important to remember babies are very aware of their parents’ anxiety. Having a child care arrangement that you are happy with will make you more comfortable with leaving your baby, which will make your baby more comfortable. They will sense that they are safe.

Babies are also very sensitive to their mama’s smell. Sending in a blanket, lovie, little photo book, or burp cloth from home will add a comforting touch to a new place.

Last but not least, whenever possible, easy your baby into a new child care situation. Start with a couple hours, then lead into a whole day. Having someone else take care of our babies is tough, but good, licensed, accredited care can add socialization and awareness to our babies world.

Parent involvement in using reward chart

Parent involvementDo you use reward charts at home? Are you looking to start using one and need some ideas for getting started? Victoria Ballard, founder of The Victoria Chart Company shares with us some tips for parents who are want to get started, as says that “parents involvement is just as important as the child’s when it comes to using the chart.” Here are some suggestions for getting started:

1) Timing – don’t start a chart if in a few days time your routine is going to be interrupted.

2) Visitor participation – let close family and friends know of your intentions in advance of them visiting, encourage them to be positive about it.

3) Involve your child from the start – open the chart with your child to help them to understand the importance of what you are going to concentrate on and how over time their chart will show fabulous rewards.

4) Keep up the routine – placing the chart in a central, easy-to-view place in your home will help remind you to use it as well as keep your child interested. Working to an end goal or final reward will help too. Repetition using the chart will help a child understand what is expected of them and children find great comfort from structure and routine.

5) Focus on the positives – providing a child with the appropriate reward and verbal praise will help your child feel good about themselves and build their self esteem. We do not recommend that a reward is taken away if a child has not achieved

Victoria says “Preparing for and giving this amount of dedication to using a reward chart is what will bring those great results. It will provide great adult and child togetherness and over time your child will want to repeat their positive actions. It is this familiarization that will help make your efforts worth it and you will feel proud of your childs development.

The Victoria Company offers reward charts, sleep charts, vacation journals and meal planners (use coupon code VCHART15 to get 15% off any order).

Getting kids to dream big

dream bigWe asked Bill Corbett to explain his idea of having children create their own “Dream Book” as a way for them to discover their passions and encourage their dreams. Here’s what Bill has to say …

With a show of hands, how many of you reading this blog post would like to have a child who lives a happy life as an adult? And how many of you readers would like to have a child who only picks emotionally healthy people to have relationships with, as an adult? Great. And how many of you would like to have children who are becoming aware of their passion and pick a career that is tied to that passion? By the show of hands, I thought most of you would want this. Now that we’ve started with the end in mind, let’s back up and determine what parenting skill is required to set our kids up to follow this path.

One of the primary ways of helping your kids to one day live an enriching life is to teach them that they can dream about ANYTHING.

They can dream about …

who they will become

all they can create

what they can have.

The secret to teaching our kids how to dream as big as they can is to sharpen their ability to dream. That means when our child comes to us and asks for something, we must encourage that dreaming but we don’t have to buy for them what they are asking for.

The best tool in sharpening the ability to dream is to help them create a dream book, a place where the child can go to capture what they are dreaming to be and have. A classic dream book can be any form of book, notebook, composition book that allows the child to write in it as a journal or to draw in it to capture images that come to mind for them. The dream book can be introduced in a family meeting or a craft activity, allowing the child to decorate the outside of their book in any way they want. This allows the child to personalize his or her dream book to mark it as his or her very own.

Every time your child comes to you to tell you about something in a dream, somebody he or she wants to be, or something they would like to buy or own, instead of being pragmatic and telling them why they can’t have or do something, tell your child, “Go put that in your DREAM BOOK, ” and watch the magic happen right before your eyes!

How do YOU get kids to dream big?

Bill Corbett is the author of the award-winning parenting book series, LOVE, LIMITS, & LESSONS: A PARENT’S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS (in English and in Spanish) and the executive producer and host of the public access television show CREATING COOPERATIVE KIDS. He is a member of the American Psychological Association and provides parent coaching and keynote presentations to parent and professional audiences across the country. Images used here with permission from Bill Corbett.

The parent-teacher conference (part 1)

parent-teacher conferenceBelow is a post from Charlie Margolis, who will share his expertise on the topic of parent-teacher conferences. Read below for PART 1 on having a successful parent-teacher conference.

A member of Toastmasters once asked me, “What is the single most important thing that an effective speaker has to do?” Whether you are talking to several hundred people or holding a parent/teacher conference, it’s about how you make the audience feel. Are you perceived as friendly, accessible and competent or aloof, hostile and inept? For the teacher, it is important to enlist parents as partners in the educational experience. I am a professional educator and interview coach. In this blog, I will share some ideas and insights into about how to have a successful parent-teacher conference.

Put-out the Welcome Mat

Everyone likes to feel appreciated. Welcome parents with a warm greeting. Create a positive expectation by explaining that you have some good news about their child. Some social conversation, prior to the actual conference, can act as an “ice breaker” and make things go more smoothly. Think of parents as friends. How do you treat friends? Start the conference with a story about something that the student has accomplished. Be the bearer of good news.

Have a Conversation

The parent conference should not resemble a political debate. Make it more like a conversation across the kitchen table. Get out from behind your desk. Set chairs comfortably close or chose a round table. Speak in a conversational tone. While you certainly will refer to the student’s performance on tests, grades, etc, try not to appear that you are following a script. Avoid letting time constraints or just plain fatigue give the impression that the parent/teacher conference is just slightly preferable to a root canal. Try to stay focused in the present moment.

Smiling Makes Everyone Feel Good

Did you have a difficult day in the classroom? Try smiling. There is a growing body of research that indicates smiling has a cognitive affect. It can, literally, change your mood. That’s right! I’ve been interviewed on radio and TV many times. Before I go on-air, I make it a point to have a smile on my face. Invariably, my mood is lifted. So, greet your parents with a smile. It will make you and the parents feel good.

Parents Need Validation

As all of us know, being a parent is a daunting task. Parents want to hear that they are doing a good job raising their children. Teachers are quick – sometimes too quick – to praise children for every little thing. Parents need praise, too. They often see their child’s behavior as a reflection of their parenting. So, seize every opportunity to tell parents that they are competence and doing well.

More more tips, read PART 2 of having a successful parent-teacher conference!charlie

Charlie is Executive Director of Interview Image Associates, LLC. The firm specializes in preparing political candidates, pageant contestants, job aspirants and college applicants for interviews, speeches and presentations.

The parent-teacher conference (part 2)

parent-teacher conferenceHere is PART 2 on having a successful parent-teacher conference from professional educator and interview coach, Charlie Margolis. (You can read PART 1 here, if you haven’t already). Below are more tips for teachers …

Be a Diplomat

I recall a mother who called me to see if her son had turned-in his term project. “I would do it for him, if I could, if I could,” she said. I asked her how that would serve her child. Parents can definitely be overly protective, defensive and downright antagonistic. As far as I am concerned, no parent has the right to abuse a teacher. With that said, it is incumbent on the teacher to defuse and deflect possible areas of conflict. Oftentimes, a parent’s reaction has nothing to do with the teacher or the classroom. Unfortunately, some people carry baggage from their school years. Be a diplomat. Try to avert potential conflict by listening for the meaning behind the words. Bend like the willow and try not to take overly assertive behavior personally.

Listening Conveys Respect

When I began writing poetry, my mentor would close her eyes, place her face in her hands – like she was praying – and give me her undivided attention. That is probably the reason I am still writing. There is a difference between hearing and listening. The greatest sign of respect one person can show to another is to listen. Teachers are trained to deliver information and facilitate learning. There is a great deal to be learned from listening. It says, “What you think is important to me.” By selectively paraphrasing what you hear – active listening – you can test whether or not what you heard is what the parent intended. To make parents feel like they are valued, solicit their input and listen to what they have to say.

What a Parent Needs to Know

If you are about to undergo surgery, you need to know what the doctor is going to do. You do not need to know precisely how the physician will do it. What a parent wants and needs to know are not always the same. Parents want to know that you genuinely like their child. Parents entrust their children to the teacher for the better part of a day. They want to be familiar with what their children are expected to learn and how they are progressing. As I teach my interview clients, a story has far greater impact than talking in abstractions. So, give concrete examples, using narratives, actual examples of work and grades to demonstrate how the child is progressing.

Set Achievable Goals

When I am preparing an individual for an interview, the first thing I do is ask all kinds of questions. His/her responses give me insight and information about what motivates that individual. Sometimes, I actually repeat what they have told me and they are surprised to hear it. Teachers and parents share the similar goals for students. It is the job of the teacher to make expectations – academic and social – clear to the parent. It is important to acknowledge parental concerns, even if they seem extraneous. As a teacher, you are the expert on education. In partnership, parents and teachers can set goals that are achievable and optimize growth.

Join the Team

I think UCONN women’s head basketball coach, Geno Auriemma is a great teacher. He is demanding, but always strives to get the best from his players. In my estimation, they are perfect models of the student/athlete. School is like the UCONN women’s basketball team. There are the coaches and the players. Each has a role. Success requires collaboration between parents, teachers and the school. What seems to have been lost, in the current rhetoric about No Child Left Behind and failing schools, is the fact that every child has to actively participate in the educational process. All the cajolery, incentives and “authentic” teaching will be ineffective unless the child assumes responsibility for learning. Like the basketball players, they have to work hard in every practice. By framing the parent/teacher conference as a team effort, everyone wins.

Charlie’s Helpful Hint

Hold a cup of your favorite hot beverage – coffee, tea, hot chocolate – with two hands just prior to you parent/teacher conference. Research indicates that doing this will result in a more positive response to the people you are going to see!charlie

If you have questions, thoughts or an experience to share, please respond in our comments section or send us an email. We’d love to hear from you!

Charlie is Executive Director of Interview Image Associates, LLC. The firm specializes in preparing political candidates, pageant contestants, job aspirants and college applicants for interviews, speeches and presentations.

Parenting advice for when a child has trouble coping

billcorbett_2We had a question from a parent for Bill Corbett (our blog Parenting Expert ). This parent has a child who is having difficulty coping with decision making. She worries so much that she will make the “wrong” choice – that she gets so upset and argues. Here is the original question:

“One of my 7 yr old daughters gives us a run for our money. She can be very moody and will throw a fit at times when she doesn’t get what she wants. She struggles making simple decisions (like which shirt to wear), and gets very worked up worrying that she is going to make the “wrong” choice. I’m always assuring her that there is no wrong choice and even limit her choices to just 2 things to make it less overwhelming. But when she is in one of her moods, there is no talking to her. And she also gets very “fresh” and argumentative with me about almost everything. When she gets that way, I generally walk away from her and tell her that I won’t listen to her when she is speaking to me that way and that I will only listen when she talks nicely and treats me with respect. Eventually she comes around, but this is practically an everyday occurrence. Bill – my other two kids are not like this at all, so I can’t really figure out how to deal with her. Her behavior really affects our entire family. If she is having a good day, the whole family has a good day. But when she is having a bad day.. watch out !! I’m considering taking her to a child psychologist or something since I feel she needs to be taught some coping skills in order to be able to better function in life. Any thoughts or strategies?”

Bill’s response:

Once again, let me mention the things you are already doing right: giving her a choice of two items to pick from and declaring the boundary that you don’t have to listen to her guff and walking away. Please keep in mind that you cannot control someone’s attitude or emotions, all you can influence is behavior through your own words and actions. Each child must learn “self-regulation”, which means learning how to calm and soothe the self. We can’t do it for them but we can help by remaining calm and not engaging in the emotion. I know this is easier said than done, but it is something you must do.

When high level energy (positive or negative emotion) from one person comes in contact with high level energy from another person, it escalates and increases. In other words, if we are angry and the next person we come in contact with matches our level of anger, both beings get angrier. But if the person we run into is calm and more peaceful, we are inclined to calm down to match their energy level. Again, this is easier said than done, but you are the adult and must model how to remain calm for the 7 year old to learn from. She may be expressing frustration with decision making and you must let her own that frustration and learn to deal with it.

It sounds like you are limiting her choices and not solving her problems for her… good job! Give her the space to be frustrated but you don’t have to be in her same space while she is like this. Go into a different room and lock the door if you have to. This will teach her that we must be responsible for the boundaries we set for others.

If her mood sets the mood for the rest of the family, the rest of the day, there is not much you can do. That’s the problem with families sometimes. Ask everyone else to remain calm and not get into any battles with her. If they do, it will energize her to repeat this behavior. And it is not a bad thing to seek out a good therapist. It is not out of the question that she may have some deeper issues that need to be resolved.

Thank you Bill for your advice. Do you have a tip or experience to share in relation to this question? We’d love to hear from you! You can also ask a question for Bill or any of our experts by using the blue form on the right!

Bill Corbett, the author of the book Love, Limits, & Lessons® and the founder and president of Cooperative Kids.