Below is a post from Charlie Margolis, who will share his expertise on the topic of parent-teacher conferences. Read below for PART 1 on having a successful parent-teacher conference.

A member of Toastmasters once asked me, “What is the single most important thing that an effective speaker has to do?” Whether you are talking to several hundred people or holding a parent/teacher conference, it’s about how you make the audience feel. Are you perceived as friendly, accessible and competent or aloof, hostile and inept? For the teacher, it is important to enlist parents as partners in the educational experience. I am a professional educator and interview coach. In this blog, I will share some ideas and insights into about how to have a successful parent-teacher conference.

Put-out the Welcome Mat

Everyone likes to feel appreciated. Welcome parents with a warm greeting. Create a positive expectation by explaining that you have some good news about their child. Some social conversation, prior to the actual conference, can act as an “ice breaker” and make things go more smoothly. Think of parents as friends. How do you treat friends? Start the conference with a story about something that the student has accomplished. Be the bearer of good news.

Have a Conversation

The parent conference should not resemble a political debate. Make it more like a conversation across the kitchen table. Get out from behind your desk. Set chairs comfortably close or chose a round table. Speak in a conversational tone. While you certainly will refer to the student’s performance on tests, grades, etc, try not to appear that you are following a script. Avoid letting time constraints or just plain fatigue give the impression that the parent/teacher conference is just slightly preferable to a root canal. Try to stay focused in the present moment.

Smiling Makes Everyone Feel Good

Did you have a difficult day in the classroom? Try smiling. There is a growing body of research that indicates smiling has a cognitive affect. It can, literally, change your mood. That’s right! I’ve been interviewed on radio and TV many times. Before I go on-air, I make it a point to have a smile on my face. Invariably, my mood is lifted. So, greet your parents with a smile. It will make you and the parents feel good.

Parents Need Validation

As all of us know, being a parent is a daunting task. Parents want to hear that they are doing a good job raising their children. Teachers are quick – sometimes too quick – to praise children for every little thing. Parents need praise, too. They often see their child’s behavior as a reflection of their parenting. So, seize every opportunity to tell parents that they are competence and doing well.

More more tips, read PART 2 of having a successful parent-teacher conference!

Charlie is Executive Director of Interview Image Associates, LLC. The firm specializes in preparing political candidates, pageant contestants, job aspirants and college applicants for interviews, speeches and presentations.

Here is PART 2 on having a successful parent-teacher conference from professional educator and interview coach, Charlie Margolis. (You can read PART 1 here, if you haven’t already). Below are more tips for teachers …

Be a Diplomat

I recall a mother who called me to see if her son had turned-in his term project. “I would do it for him, if I could, if I could,” she said. I asked her how that would serve her child. Parents can definitely be overly protective, defensive and downright antagonistic. As far as I am concerned, no parent has the right to abuse a teacher. With that said, it is incumbent on the teacher to defuse and deflect possible areas of conflict. Oftentimes, a parent’s reaction has nothing to do with the teacher or the classroom. Unfortunately, some people carry baggage from their school years. Be a diplomat. Try to avert potential conflict by listening for the meaning behind the words. Bend like the willow and try not to take overly assertive behavior personally.

Listening Conveys Respect

When I began writing poetry, my mentor would close her eyes, place her face in her hands – like she was praying – and give me her undivided attention. That is probably the reason I am still writing. There is a difference between hearing and listening. The greatest sign of respect one person can show to another is to listen. Teachers are trained to deliver information and facilitate learning. There is a great deal to be learned from listening. It says, “What you think is important to me.” By selectively paraphrasing what you hear – active listening – you can test whether or not what you heard is what the parent intended. To make parents feel like they are valued, solicit their input and listen to what they have to say.

What a Parent Needs to Know

If you are about to undergo surgery, you need to know what the doctor is going to do. You do not need to know precisely how the physician will do it. What a parent wants and needs to know are not always the same. Parents want to know that you genuinely like their child. Parents entrust their children to the teacher for the better part of a day. They want to be familiar with what their children are expected to learn and how they are progressing. As I teach my interview clients, a story has far greater impact than talking in abstractions. So, give concrete examples, using narratives, actual examples of work and grades to demonstrate how the child is progressing.

Set Achievable Goals

When I am preparing an individual for an interview, the first thing I do is ask all kinds of questions. His/her responses give me insight and information about what motivates that individual. Sometimes, I actually repeat what they have told me and they are surprised to hear it. Teachers and parents share the similar goals for students. It is the job of the teacher to make expectations – academic and social – clear to the parent. It is important to acknowledge parental concerns, even if they seem extraneous. As a teacher, you are the expert on education. In partnership, parents and teachers can set goals that are achievable and optimize growth.

Join the Team

I think UCONN women’s head basketball coach, Geno Auriemma is a great teacher. He is demanding, but always strives to get the best from his players. In my estimation, they are perfect models of the student/athlete. School is like the UCONN women’s basketball team. There are the coaches and the players. Each has a role. Success requires collaboration between parents, teachers and the school. What seems to have been lost, in the current rhetoric about No Child Left Behind and failing schools, is the fact that every child has to actively participate in the educational process. All the cajolery, incentives and “authentic” teaching will be ineffective unless the child assumes responsibility for learning. Like the basketball players, they have to work hard in every practice. By framing the parent/teacher conference as a team effort, everyone wins.

Charlie’s Helpful Hint

Hold a cup of your favorite hot beverage – coffee, tea, hot chocolate – with two hands just prior to you parent/teacher conference. Research indicates that doing this will result in a more positive response to the people you are going to see!

If you have questions, thoughts or an experience to share, please respond in our comments section or send us an email. We’d love to hear from you!

Charlie is Executive Director of Interview Image Associates, LLC. The firm specializes in preparing political candidates, pageant contestants, job aspirants and college applicants for interviews, speeches and presentations.